Kurt Keeps Knocking
by moonswirl
Summary: Gleekathon, day four hundred and fifty-nine:  abc 11 of 26  It's getting harder and harder to get back up from the fall, but he does...


_Started my daily ficlets to make the hiatus pass, then decided to keep going with a 2nd cycle, and then a 3rd, 4th, etc through 21st cycle. Now cycle 22!_

_**ALPHABET 2.0** - So nearly a year ago (HA!) I had done a set of stories taking inspiration by words, three for each letter of the alphabet (started with Acapella, Audition Arts in mid-February and every other day to April). Well now I wanted to do something like that, but using the alphabet another way. Instead of random words, I made sentences, all with those same letters (you'll see). There'll be 13 here in cycle 22, and the other half in cycle 24!  
**TODAY:** (11 of 26) K is for..._

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**"Kurt Keeps Knocking"  
Kurt **

The impact vibrated throughout his body, taking with it the breath he'd lost, little by little. He was hardly new to feeling that wind go right out of him, but it didn't make it any easier. He'd get back off, brush it off, and try to get back on his way. Some times were harder than others, but he always managed.

But that time he just couldn't get up, not yet… His heart was beating so fast, for the surprise, for the blow… for the fear. Only as he sat there, made so very small by what had just happened, he looked to the giants, those still walking around him… Was he that small, that unnoticeable? He may have been wearing bright yellow, but apparently that wasn't enough for them to see him down there on the ground. They just kept on walking like it was any other day.

He wondered how many had genuinely not seen him, and how many had seen him and simply chosen to keep on walking. He shouldn't have been surprised, after all this time, but he supposed he still thought at least someone would notice him and offer him a hand, any kind of acknowledgment that he was in fact alive and not just for decoration. But there he was, sitting with shaking breath and all, and everyone just kept on walking… He was invisible.

Most days it wouldn't bother him so much; he'd almost gotten used to being at the bottom of the heap, as good as nameless. Only now… now he needed someone to see him, to see that he wasn't alright…

He was stuck with this secret which, though he'd absolutely keep it, he'd never been asked before finding himself involved and complicit. He was put in the position of having to protect his own tormentor from the pain he himself had inflicted countless times on Kurt… He'd find it funny or ironic if it wasn't for the fact that despite being thrust into the role of confidant, he still had to endure everything just as bad as before if not worse. Now he had something on him, and that apparently made him dangerous, even though his intentions were far from. So long as that didn't dawn on him, Kurt was to remain there… in a constant state of fear and dread of what he might do next.

He hated that feeling, lying at the pit of his stomach. All his life at McKinley and even before, he had prided himself in never letting anyone tell him who or how he was supposed to be, but there he was, letting him do it. It wasn't in anything too obvious, except he was no fool… he knew the difference. The change had been so gradual and now he tried to remember how to be who he used to be again, and he couldn't remember… He had to remember…

He had to get up. He could still feel his legs shaking under him, he still had to find a way, after this, to make a graceful rising like he wasn't just sitting on the ground, on the verge of cowering. He was better than this, so very strong. He wasn't going to let himself shrink into this new side of himself, not anymore, or he would disappear.

With a deep breath and all those thoughts in his mind, he planted one hand on the ground and the other on the lockers behind him, and he pulled himself up to his feet, needing a moment to re-establish balance but finally standing. No one looked any closer to having noticed him on the ground, but he supposed at this point that was alright, even more than that, it was ideal. He knew what he was going through, as hard as it was to imagine he would ever have anything in common with him, much less a first kiss, now he knew that wasn't true at all. Maybe they coped in different ways… one coped; the other was still so far from a grasp… But if he could stand back on his feet, then so could Karofsky.

THE END

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**A/N: This is a one-shot ficlet, which means that signing up for story alert will not bring you any alerts.  
****In the event of a sequel, the story will be separate from this one. And as chapter stories go, they are  
****always clearly indicated as such [ex: "Days 204-210" in the summary] Thank you!**


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